why

why do i have such trouble finding the one for me? why is the 'one' so elusive? i have searched an waited and I'm tired of it all. i played the games, followed the rules, tried to make others happy, and what did i get out for my trouble? not shit. I’m alone. i want my man that can fulfill me, that can be there for me when i need him, that will love me for me, and be everything i need an want him to be. I want a man that will be real with me, wont cheat or lie, wont make me feel worthless and like shit. i want a man that loves me no matter what, a man that i can be myself around, i want a man that i can be best friends with, i want a man that knows everything about me an doesn’t judge, he accepts and loves me as i am, i want a man that i can tell anything to an one who feels that he can tell me anything, i don’t want secrets or lies, i want a man i can trust completely with my life, my heart, my body, my future children, with everything about me, i want a man, a real man, not a lil boy, or a man that doesn’t know who or what he is or what he wants

i don’t want a man that makes me have second thoughts about our relationship, i don’t want a man that makes me regret my decisions, i don’t want a man that i cant trust or respect. i don’t want a man that makes me feel like I’m on the bottom of his list of people that he loves and wants to be around. i don’t want a man that is useless to me physically, emotionally, and mentally.